The Need for Speed. Thoughts on Motivation

This is a blog I've been meaning to write for a while now. I've often read articles referring to two different types of athletes; those who are motivated by the drive to beat others (rare), and those who are motivated by the drive to not fail (most common). While I have spent a fair bit of time reflecting on which type I am, I usually arrive at the conclusion that my biggest fear is in fact failure. A thought occurred to me the other day though while I was doing a 5x400 meter swim set that was going fairly well. (leaving on 5:00, coming in 4:36, 4:40, 4:42, 4:44, 4:45)

I was in some serious oxygen debt, so I may have been a little delirious, but I had an overwhelming sense of joy about how well I was moving through the water. Just the sensation of speed and the knowledge that I was going FAST. At least for me, Phelps might say otherwise, but that's not important. What is important is that this is not an unusual thing for me. When I'm doing my best, I am completely focused on how fast I am going and how awesome it is. The race or workout going on around me becomes secondary and I am just aware that it is happening. Other athletes become measurements of my ultimate speed, just as my power meter, pace clock, speedometer, Garmin, and trees flying by reinforce (or break down) my perception of speed.

Fast because I feel fast

Fast because data says so

I hate to admit that certain signals can override all of the others. The workout I have been struggling with recently is our 30min uphill time trial. Going up hills has never been a strong suit of mine, but it does offer an interesting experiment or moment of reflection rather, with regards to this topic. Almost all of my speed measurements are working against me except for the one that matters, my wattage. The wind is not rushing by, my speed is not worth looking at, my lighter training partners are slowly (sometimes quickly) pulling away from me, my cadence is forced to be low, and the overall feeling of graceful, fast movement through space is almost completely gone. I should be able to look down at my power meter and be happy with the result, as my wattage is as high as I should expect for such an effort, which is all that should matter physiologically. BUT my competitiveness and desire to do better than last time EVERY time overrides the data and leaves me with a sense of disappointment.

This was a great introspective moment for me and certainly something I intend to spend more time thinking about. I would encourage any athlete to spend some time breaking through the layers of motivation to find out what really drives you. Don't be happy with "I like to compete" or "I like the lifestyle." Go deeper. Think more along the lines of survival instinct. Keep asking why after each successive answer. If you can find what makes you tick, then you can anticipate and avoid stimulus that may throw you off and capitalize on ones that could bring out your best.